When thoughts are not going to shut down

Yesterday I went to a speedway race, nothing unusual about that. It is where I have me second family and where I can relax. The only thing that is quite unusual is that I only have been able to go on 2 races so far this season, and it is already the beginning of June. Crazy. But today I don't have this fuzzy feeling that I always have when I been to a race. I actually feel rather sad today. Because one thing I have done since I was really little are, when someone is hurting, I feel it in my heart like it is my own pain, and I carry it around for a long time. And yesterday we had a nasty crash, we're talking blood and broken thigh-bone. This guy is only 18 years old, his friend just died due to injures he got on a speedway track.. And in the beginning of the race we had a minute in silence for him. And then that happend. And after the race another thing happend, but that was a totally differnt thing, the police was involved with one of the drivers. And, this is a guy I have grown up with. He has always been there and I wish him all the best even if I don't know him that well. But I am close to people in his team. And I am hurting. So much. I can't even explain it. And I wish at this point I could just shake this feelings of, but I can't. I am a person with many emotions. I feel a lot. All the time. And I hate when this things are happening to our beautiful sport. Because it is amazing and as I have said, the people are like my second family.